I Sold Drugs To A Rockstar
I sold drugs to a Rockstar — That’s what the work experience section of my resume boasts of.
It was a freelance project, they don’t hire freshers as dealers anymore. I took the initiative and procured the ‘stuff’ from a shady Labrador in the dark alley behind the human street. He wanted the frisbee upfront but I traded it for a couple of tennis balls. It all worked out.
I sold drugs to a Rockstar — It was a one-off project but I guess I can forge a connection and start some kind of agency around it. I’m good with SEO and stuff.
I remember it used to be simple, just a regular Pigeon drop-off before it all went haywire. The Pigeon’s got high and started messing up the orders. The dogs had to intervene and update the algorithms. ‘Digitalisation’ they termed it.
I could market the ‘stuff’ digitally until Cats became my Target Audience. I could never get their attention. Most of them seemed to be going through withdrawal symptoms. I couldn’t bear it. That was that.
I sold drugs to a Rockstar — I found him on LinkedIn with zero connections and I knew he was the one. Takes one to know one.
I guess the word travels fast though. I have started receiving calls as of late, about permanent opportunities. But my portfolio is shady and the Labrador from the dark alley behind human street is unreliable. I don’t have B2B experience, I usually dealt with customers directly, and that’s usually my downfall. ‘Lead Generation’ they say I’m lacking.
But I sold drugs to a Rockstar — And I am told there’s work on offer post-covid. A lot of addicts are out there just waiting to be served. They don’t care about the quality, they just wanna get high. If only I had accepted that a few years ago…
