What The Fuck!
Patience — I lack some fucking patience in my life, but you know what’s funny and a bit fucking ironic? The time it passes by any fucking way and voila! A fucking decade passes by like a snap of a finger and you sit there contemplating like a 70 year old regretful fuck about why the fuck you were worried and being fucking impatient like a 3 year old petulant fucking child all this time when time flows like a liberated fucking river screaming freedom from the mountains of agony.
This happens in your 30s. It always does. And if it doesn’t, you didn’t fucking live in your 20s. But, the thing is, even if you did live in your fucking 20s, what the fuck did you achieve anyway? Memories? Perspective? Satisfaction?
And, what the fuck do you do with it?
Well, you opened a bottle of beer or 6, lit a fucking fag or 3, played that fucking song about Birch Trees and what not, and started vomiting random shit on your notebook about time, patience, and existential fucking crisis.
And what now?
Life’s only gonna get harder and harder as you feed pills to your viagra powered thoughts each passing day, 10 at a time, 20, 30, 40, until you overdose one day, drop unconscious, and let yourself get fucked. And there’s no looking back after that. You gave up. It happens in your 40s, maybe 50s.
But you always knew it was coming and there’s nothing you could do about it, so you let it happen, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, decade after decade, until one day your poor soul just can’t take it anymore and it betrays your body, once and for all, and floats away into the space like the smoke of the fag you lit minutes ago, never to be seen, caught, or be found again in this lifetime.
What a depressed fucking life! Good thing I’m dead already.
Just sometimes, though…
